The Toenail

Listen, we all know someone who has a wonky, funky, freaky, diseased toenail.  I too have a relative with a yellowed, funky, scaly toenail.  Sometimes late at night when I am lying in bed I think about the toenail and I shudder in grossitude.  Once I had a dream about the toenail, that everyone had a wonky toenail except me and I was being hunted "Lord of The Flies Style" for not having "The Toenail".  When summer comes I know that the toenail will come over to visit, rearing its ugly little head from a bright colorful flip flop.  I can't help myself from focusing on it, thinking about it..yes I'm obsessed with "The Toenail".  I guess I don't understand how the toenail came to be and why one wouldn't do anything to change the toenail's appearance.  I admit that I have chuckled to myself as I thought about asking this relative to let me take a picture of myself next to the toenail for my facebook profile.  Ahh toenail, I know you'll be at every holiday get together and this gives me security...oh toenail, you never let me down.